When I was heading out to North Dakota I stopped near Fargo at an outdoor gear place. I was thinking about picking up a few things that I’d need for being at Standing Rock for two or three weeks (a machete, water purification tablets, a bladder for carrying water around, etc.) but I was also curious to see if I noticed something that I otherwise didn’t know I needed. (This is a horrible idea for me to do. I’m am notoriously a gear head and LOVE to pick up new things to make my outdoor experience more seamless and lightweight.)
As I was walking about I also had my eyes open for anything that might otherwise be more difficult to get or more expensive in Massachusetts. The first item that jumps out is a ghillie suit. Designed to make a person look like a bush or piles of debris, this is camo taken to the next level. I want one. But I realistically can’t think of any reason that I could use it besides perhaps Burning Man which isn’t for another 10 months. But then the light bulb goes off. Actually we are coming up on Halloween and I bet that would make a great (warm) costume. I realize quickly however that while a ghillie suit might work quite nicely in the woods, in the city it would be the opposite of camouflage. So I elect to leave the ghillie suit where I found it.
I can’t help but continuing to ponder; what would a ghillie suit look like in the city? I imagined a pile of trash, but then realized I’d have a very smelly costume that would only allow me to disappear into the background of certain cities. My next thought was to become a coat hanger of sorts for popular clothing items in the area, but I felt like that was looking the original intention. Finally, I hit on it. The ideal, bourgeois ghillie suit – I would dress as a shrubbery!
With the word shrubbery on my tongue I realized that in order to complete my outfit of bright green leaves I would need a little sign asking to be delivered to The Knights Who Say Ni!
I have no more words.